Get rid of the ‘Palace’ of Westminster… and other ideas from a non-political person

Dear Lucy,

I’m not a political person. However, my interest has been piqued by the embarrassing shenanigans that have transpired over the last few weeks. Someone was telling me Suella Braverman had resigned. Initially they couldn’t remember her name and, not knowing who she was, I assumed that he was calling Liz Truss Suellen from Dallas as a joke. Suellen who was carted off to the asylum by JR every time she so much as looked at a glass of Chablis.

It wouldn’t have surprised me if this had been the joke. Whilst I’ve no truck with Truss, it’s all felt a little bit bully-y.

Anyway, this fresh interest in politics made me wonder, what would the solution be? Clearly things need to change culturally at Westminster, another leader just perpetuates the rotten culture. I don’t think you can complain too heartily if you don’t have some suggestions, so here are some of mine. I know some of them are naïve and open things up to corruption, but let’s not pretend that the system isn’t already corrupt.


Get rid of the ‘Palace’ of Westminster

Seriously, how can we expect to be represented in our little houses by people who strut about in a palace, a PALACE, play fighting with each other and wasting our money. Stick them in an office block in Slough and pay them very little. IF they do a good job, they get a nice juicy bonus to make up for their low pay at the end of each year. You could them make the Palace into a tourist attraction, a museum if you will, which is what it should be.

Zoom only

When you put a group of politicians together, bad things happen. It’s still shocking to think about the expenses culture that was exposed. Every organisation has bad practices, and whilst we might feel we should expect more from those representing us, they’re human just like us, so let’s protect them and us from the inevitable. The culture is out of control and needs to be stopped. Let’s insist that they are only allowed to meet on Zoom. No bullying in the corridors, or ‘old boys club’ shenanigans. This would be a good start.

Parliament service

Have members of the public randomly inserted into daily practices like jury service. They’re just there to observe and speak up if they don’t think something is right or feel that normal people aren’t being represented. There would obviously need to be a very safe way to do this which I haven’t thought through just yet. I literally thought of all these things as I was drifting off to sleep last night.

Lean into the games

Instead of sitting back and making farm-yard noises, let’s have them dress up as their favourite animal; a sheep, a pig, etc. and sort of rugby scrum against each other until one side is pushed over the line. Also, there have been jokes about a Big Brother type scenario, but I think it’s a good idea. Let the public decide, in a very direct and immediate way if someone stays. Boris would have been out on his immediate ear had the public been voting when it was discovered he’d been twisting the night away whilst other people couldn’t visit their dying relatives.


Leaders by definition are problematic. We’ve all seen the documentaries, so let’s be honest about this and make sure that they don’t have too much power. Spread it out. Perhaps have leaders for each area.I know we have the Foreign Secretary, Health Secretary etc. but let us – the public – vote for them too, and let them be in charge, regardless of who the overall leader is so that we get consistency. I realise this kind of blows the whole Conservative/Labour etc thing out of the water, but I don’t think we should rule that out.


Replace politicians with lovely celebrities

Billy Connolly said anyone who has the desire to be a politician should automatically not be allowed to be one. Here, here, Billy. I know they’re not all bad and they’d be allowed to be involved, just not in charge.

So, what about replacing them with celebrities. They’re always off doing things with normal folk and those in need so they might be a good option. I for one would have Dawn French in charge of everything.

Replace politicians with business leaders

Let’s face it, it’s their agenda we’re really on anyway, so why not just put them in charge. If they actually had to make direct decisions about profit over environment they may think twice. As it is, it’s someone else’s problem and they’re able to turn a blind eye.


Easy read

Mencap have ‘easy read’ versions of everything. Simple versions of more complex information and instructions. I think they should be brought in to overhaul the whole system. Unless something can be explained easily, it’s out and is replaced with something that is. So that normal people can get involved and feel more engaged in the process.

Dear Lucy, whilst some of these ideas are a bit ridiculous, I think we need something radical. This is just me on my own, and I’m probably not thinking big enough, radical enough. I hope, for the sake of your children and grandchildren that something will change and that future generations will be able to look back and say, a bit like when they used to drill into people’s heads when they had a headache, “I can’t believe that’s how things used to work.”

Published by CP

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