Dear Lucy, I’ve always wanted to need to catch an early flight, to have something important enough to need to leave first thing in the morning for. I’ve been on early flights before, but I haven’t ‘had to’ be on them. People in films and on the TV are always catching early flights. Never late-morningContinue reading “Early flight”
Author Archives: CP
I meant “Neanderthal”
Dear Lucy, I called a man a Palestine the other day. Well, I almost did. I actually wanted to call him a philistine which, turns out, wasn’t even the right word anyway. It got me thinking though, about the reason that I wanted to shout at him at all, especially as I’m really not oneContinue reading “I meant “Neanderthal””
Be careful what you wish for
Dear Lucy, I recently brought a brass lamp in a charity shop. I brought it because it was in the ‘this stuff is seriously crap’ 50p box under the till. The lid was missing and had been replaced by a stress ball that looked like a sprout. Its plight overwhelmed me – no-one would everContinue reading “Be careful what you wish for”
I just want some space!
Dear Lucy, I had coffee with a friend last week. He’s all for supporting local, independent ventures and so he chooses the location. I already know in advance it will be ‘one of those’ trendy coffee shops where, one way or another, I’m going to get a cup of coffee I won’t enjoy, feel generally insecureContinue reading “I just want some space!”
List-less
Dear Lucy, I had a most terrible and thrilling thought this week. What if there were no more lists? What if I stopped making lists? I immediately want to make a list of all the lists I could stop making. I don’t. The list of lists I’m making is the list to end all lists. This list-lessContinue reading “List-less”
Mrs Bennett
Dear Lucy, I wanted to tell you about my recent visit from Mrs Bennett from Pride and Prejudice. I saw she’d become a Dating Coach and my interest was piqued. It was pricey having her to come and live with me (essential to her way of working) but how could I resist. Things however tookContinue reading “Mrs Bennett”
Handbag
Dear Lucy, my handbag is more confident than me. I didn’t mind at first, letting it put its best foot forward whilst I followed with my less best knee. In situations where I felt less confident – almost daily – my handbag acts as a buffer between me and that experience. Slowly I catch upContinue reading “Handbag”
Ex-boyfriend
Dear Lucy, my ex-boyfriend keeps rejecting me in my dreams. It normally starts with an unspoken reunion though occasionally it’s like a fairy tale. One time he even built me a shopping mall with everything I could ever want so I didn’t have to leave. Normally though it’s quiet and familiar and I just kind ofContinue reading “Ex-boyfriend”
Paying on a date
Dear Lucy, I was on a lunch date recently, and the gentleman I was with wanted to pay. Women aren’t supposed to pay on dates, I know, but I’m not like other women. I don’t know how to not pay, like I don’t know how to play Lacrosse. And men know I can’t play Lacrosse,Continue reading “Paying on a date”
See a penny
Dear Lucy, I do believe I have a legacy, but I’m afraid no-one will know it was me who left it. It’s not necessarily that I want to be remembered, I just don’t want to be forgotten, and this could my ticket. So here’s what it is. I made up a second part to ‘SeeContinue reading “See a penny”