Dear Lucy, I’ve got a serious Mars Bar problem. I’m trying to cut down on Mars bars, amongst other things, and I’m doing really, really well. The only problem is, that I’m rewarding myself with Mars bars, because I love Mars bars. I tried rewarding myself with Snickers as I love those too, but thenContinue reading “Mars Bars”
Tag Archives: funny
I just want some space!
Dear Lucy, I had coffee with a friend last week. He’s all for supporting local, independent ventures and so he chooses the location. I already know in advance it will be ‘one of those’ trendy coffee shops where, one way or another, I’m going to get a cup of coffee I won’t enjoy, feel generally insecureContinue reading “I just want some space!”
List-less
Dear Lucy, I had a most terrible and thrilling thought this week. What if there were no more lists? What if I stopped making lists? I immediately want to make a list of all the lists I could stop making. I don’t. The list of lists I’m making is the list to end all lists. This list-lessContinue reading “List-less”
Mrs Bennett
Dear Lucy, I wanted to tell you about my recent visit from Mrs Bennett from Pride and Prejudice. I saw she’d become a Dating Coach and my interest was piqued. It was pricey having her to come and live with me (essential to her way of working) but how could I resist. Things however tookContinue reading “Mrs Bennett”
Paying on a date
Dear Lucy, I was on a lunch date recently, and the gentleman I was with wanted to pay. Women aren’t supposed to pay on dates, I know, but I’m not like other women. I don’t know how to not pay, like I don’t know how to play Lacrosse. And men know I can’t play Lacrosse,Continue reading “Paying on a date”
Microwave Masterchef
Dear Lucy, The other day I was preparing my dinner – a ready meal of Thai Green Curry – and guess who was there in my kitchen, judging my every move? Yes! John and Greg from MasterChef. I felt nervous under their critical gaze, but think I did myself proud. Greg was impressed – forContinue reading “Microwave Masterchef”
Scarf vs Shoes
Dear Lucy, The other day on the tube, I caught a man staring at the scarf wrapped around my neck. So I immediately I started staring back – at his shoes, neatly wrapped around his feet. I soon regretted choosing his shoes as it meant I would have to break my stare to check if heContinue reading “Scarf vs Shoes”
Bell Bottom Clive
Dear Lucy, A lump comes to my throat when I think of Bell Bottom Clive. A more unfortunate boy, I have never known. He was ginger, the particularly unkind kind. Bright red and wiry, kinking stiffly about his face. Ginger hair is cool now for boys thanks to Harry (Prince) and Sheeran (Ed), but itContinue reading “Bell Bottom Clive”
Dear Lucy 